Return of the silly little things that annoy you thread

This is one that drives me insane. I call it "Non Threaten Northern Voice" in tv adverts.

<adopts slightly northern accent - but not too strong > "Buy our product... listen to me sell it maaaa way in maaa slightly non-threatening northern voice which gives you a feeling that aaaam a right good person who might not be quite a smart as you and therefore YOU can feel confident that I am a little bit too slow and unworldy to rip you off. You are superiior to me....."

I despise it and it drives me mad. It is everywhere and has been for a while.
 
This is one that drives me insane. I call it "Non Threaten Northern Voice" in tv adverts.

<adopts slightly northern accent - but not too strong > "Buy our product... listen to me sell it maaaa way in maaa slightly non-threatening northern voice which gives you a feeling that aaaam a right good person who might not be quite a smart as you and therefore YOU can feel confident that I am a little bit too slow and unworldy to rip you off. You are superiior to me....."

I despise it and it drives me mad. It is everywhere and has been for a while.
Me too, it drives me absolutely potty but never feel I can complain. RP please.
 
Of course, to negate my own argument, who would ever buy anything from anyone with an Essex or Saaarf East Lahndahm accent... innit.

What grinds my gears is the (in my own head) the "slightly dim northerner" trope.....

Of course - I have worked very hard to lose my sloppy, vile Lincolnshire accent because otherwise I would sound like a slobbering retard in professional circles.... but that is another story
 
Ok, I'm going studs-up on this one (and excuse my self moderated bad language....it is nececssary)

So.....for some ungodly reason a clip came up on my youtube homepage of the Beach Boys performing live in 2015 ....SINGING THE SAME ******* SONGS from 50 years before.

At least Lennon and McCartney wrote more songs since their 17th birthday.... so .... Beach Boys.... why why why are you just sitting in front of zoned out audiences singing the same songs from 55 years ago (judging my the Pet Sounds release date which is probably a bit tooo experimental for most people).... stop pretending to be teenagers - it is creepy and your music has lost all validity through your hawking shilliing mind-set. Move on...... (obviously I cant... despite being too young to remeber them)
 
I don’t believe one can roam around Nassau town any more without being arrested for lurking with intent, so

‘We come on the sloop John b,
My grandfather and me, then we got arrested for loitering’ doesn’t quite cut it.
 
"Vanity sizing" of jeans (presumably only jeans, not all trousers; it's been a while since I bought a new suit).

I know what size my waist is. I would like to buy jeans based on that size, but it is complete guesswork. In a clothes shop, it means taking several pairs to try on, none of which reflect my waist size. Buying online is even more painful. After a random guess, I was lucky to find that a pair of jeans made by one company and sold as having a 31 inch waist is actually a 36 inch waist. This is idiotic and extremely annoying.
 
Not to get too meta about this, but there are several examples from this very thread that need to be called out (one of the phrases that most maddens me)

- the use of “super” to mean “very”. As in “we are super excited”, “this is super annoying - just no.

- “grinds my gears” - as above

As for “poo”, a perfectly good English word (as Steve pointed out neither “shit”, “turd” nor anything else that springs to mind has quite the universal applicability of “poo”, and I’m not saying “faeces”, I’m not Mr Logic) - has anyone else noticed this has now become, in almost all situations, “poop” - an infantile Americanism for which there is absolutely no excuse.
 
The poo one is interesting. I had an overnight stay in hospital recently and was asked if I needed to “do a motion” by an otherwise coarse Australian nurse. Took a moment to understand what was being asked.
 
- the use of “super” to mean “very”. As in “we are super excited”, “this is super annoying - just no.
There are a few of these, and I blame the kids. I'll add a couple in the full knowledge I'm an old fart. I don't know how they take hold though - something in the zeitgeist? Why replace a perfectly good word (eg very) with another containing no additional meaning?

American influence? (actually, I seem to remember "Super" being used significantly more as an intensifier in French than English).

Or is it a particular character in a show/game which everyone wants to emulate? Certainly I use words/idioms from eg Blackadder and the Simpsons and probably tons of other comedies but most of these embiggen the language rather than reduce it. Anyway,

"Perfect!" for "Great!" ("that's just what I was after". Feels judgmental in some way)
"I mean-" as the start of an explanation of something
"No-Yes" ditto (not a new one, but I cannot conceive of the mental process which starts an affirmation with a negation. Seems related to the footballers' "to be fair", usually followed by the unfair ("to be fair, he's a bit of a twat")?
"Finals" (I often mention this one but it grates. This one feels American, or at least I associate it with John McEnroe, usually when he's about to mispronounce "Djokovic")
"Around" (not new but awful)
"One of the only"

That feels much better - thank you. Joel - top use of Mr Logic there. I can certainly imagine his nephews Sixtus and Anselm saying "faeces" instead of the Anglo-Saxon. :)
 
How about "100%" and "I'm not gonna lie"?

Obviously new generations like to invent their own sub-language and (being serious for a second) who are we to object? It's a form of rebellion and should be encouraged!

I still find "Uni" makes me cringe. As a Dad I'm supposed to induce cringeing, not be a victim!

PS - what's wrong with "Finals"? Or is this not a reference to exams prior to graduation?
 
How about "100%" and "I'm not gonna lie"?

Obviously new generations like to invent their own sub-language and (being serious for a second) who are we to object? It's a form of rebellion and should be encouraged!

I still find "Uni" makes me cringe. As a Dad I'm supposed to induce cringeing, not be a victim!

PS - what's wrong with "Finals"? Or is this not a reference to exams prior to graduation?
I thought "not gonna lie" was a Welsh idiom and popularised by Gavin and Stacey, but that's my hunch only.

"Finals" as in "Finals week" (Bake Off et al) and everywhere in sport. No problems with University "Finals" (short for "final examinations" I think and therefore correctly plural) but I can't quite put my finger on it (other than the plural's used where I feel it should be singular).

And I do mean feel - both in terms of my response not being immediately explicable using reason and my physical flinching when I hear any of the above :)

Uni's alright for me, as it Joel's gear-grinding, but again, no "reason" why!
 
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