NWR Silly Little Things That Annoy You

The “run-up”* to Christmas, and attendant perky, I’m-wearing-reindeer-antlers lifestyle journalism: “Feed an impromptu crowd of revellers with this festive tear-and-share to dunk in hot cheese” etc

*Craig McDermott-esque, by the time you actually reach the day itself
 
This version of ‘caveat emptor’ arrived in my inbox today. A gift ordered for my better half…

Thank you for choosing our engraving pen. We want to ensure you have the best experience with our product, so please take a moment to read the following information.

Each item undergoes four quality inspections before shipment to ensure it meets our high standards. However, like many electronic products, it may experience some issues during transit, including battery discharge or failure to start or charge. Additionally, because certain parts are glued together, there is a possibility that some components may become loose or fall off.

To ensure smooth operation:

Inspect Your Product: Upon receiving the item, please check for any missing parts and ensure everything is intact.
Charge Before Use: If the pen does not power on, please charge it fully before use.
In Case of Issues: If you experience charging issues, missing parts, or any other defects, please contact us immediately for a replacement.
Power Concerns: If you feel the power of the pen is insufficient for your tasks, you may request returned purchase.

We hope you enjoy using your pen. If you have any questions or need assistance, don't hesitate to reach out. We're always here to help!

Thank you for choosing ARROWMAX Have a great day!

Now to me this reads as ‘our product is actually a bit shit, badly made, prone to not actually working properly and falling apart. Frankly you should probably buy a different product as ours won’t work.’

Also, our reviews have all been bought with our massive advertising budget.
 
The phrase 'unusually high call volumes'. I hear this every time I have to call a certain service provider. What it consitutes is a cynical euphemism for 'we've never had any intention of staffing up so that we can handle the normal volume of calls, so we bullshit you about it being unusual while you sit and wait for us to eventually get round to answering the phone'.
 
I was listening to a discussion on test cricket on the car radio earlier this week and one of the participants was Phil Tufnell, aka 'Tuffers' :rolleyes:. He was a contemporary of mine at Highgate School, a couple of years below me, until he got expelled. It is not so much his loutish antics that I find annoying, or even his career as a C-grade celebrity, but his faux cockney accent and working class rebel pretence, when in reality he is from a well heeled family in Hadley Wood.
 
Richard Zambuni said:
The phrase 'unusually high call volumes'. I hear this every time I have to call a certain service provider. What it consitutes is a cynical euphemism for 'we've never had any intention of staffing up so that we can handle the normal volume of calls, so we bullshit you about it being unusual while you sit and wait for us to eventually get round to answering the phone'.
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I don't know about your service provider, but some cases it's just a ruse to make you give up immediately, and if you persist, the phone is answered in a couple of minutes.

Is it beyond the wit of man (or AI) to give you a decent estimate of the wait time, with updates as you hold the line? Then you actually have the basis to decide whether to hold or not. I have encountered it once or twice, but it is very rare. You are more likely to be told your position in the queue, which is meaningless until you figure out how quickly you are progressing in the queue.
 
The female person who decided that it was her right to march across a zebra crossing near us when the traffic and other pedestrians waited for the fire engine screaming up the road, lights, sirens, the lot.
 
Alistair Scott said:
The female person who decided that it was her right to march across a zebra crossing near us when the traffic and other pedestrians waited for the fire engine screaming up the road, lights, sirens, the lot.
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A very common phenomenon is the started walker with noise-cancelling headphones/ earbuds. These things can be extraordinarliy effective at blocking noise and I'm sure this includes sirens. Time after time I get sworn at when out running when I've 'crept up' or 'jumped out' (run past) someone completely oblivious to the world around them. On a very narrow trail I had to tap a woman on the shoulder as no amount of progressivly louder requests got through the massive (noise-cancelling) headphones she was wearing. If you don't want to be startled, take your bloody headphones off!
 
Kinley Smith said:
A very common phenomenon is the started walker with noise-cancelling headphones/ earbuds. These things can be extraordinarliy effective at blocking noise and I'm sure this includes sirens. Time after time I get sworn at when out running when I've 'crept up' or 'jumped out' (run past) someone completely oblivious to the world around them. On a very narrow trail I had to tap a woman on the shoulder as no amount of progressivly louder requests got through the massive (noise-cancelling) headphones she was wearing. If you don't want to be startled, take your bloody headphones off!
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Even before such headphones, I had problems riding a bike with pedestrians blocking a cycle lane. Ring your bell too early and they don't hear; too close or not at all and you scare them. It was a question of finding the "goldilocks" distance - not easy.
 
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